Maybe this should be my vent intro

Ran a FL 10 with my new guild. It was an oddball assemblage of some guildies, a guy that the raid leader knew, and an additional pug or 3.

The guy that the raid leader knew quickly turned in to the new raid leader. Well mannered, unfailing polite, and very patient. (Which was very good as several people had not been in FL before, were new to raiding, and someone thought it was a good idea to attempt heroics with this set up.) He mentioned nearly 20 years in the military so I’m going to assume early 40s or close thereabouts.

The run was eventually ended when we lost a fire mage doing 13k on Rhyolith. (His 4% extra hit, missing gems, nonexistent enchants (except for the hit enchant!), and zero knowledge of the encounters might have had something to do with his performance.) He stepped out on his own accord after stating he was afraid he was bringing us down.

As it was Monday night, we were hard pressed to find a replacement. But we did give it a valiant effort and during the intermission, our raid-leading tank had ample time to liberally sample the contents of a rum bottle. By the time we gave up he was rather blitzed. (What is it with drunk tanks?)

And he stayed in vent with us after the run ended.

I was attempting to coach our disc priest on some of the finer nuances of disc healing (I will break your fingers if I catch you casting Flash Heal again! OK, I wasn’t that blunt but I did tell him it was silly.)

This kindly gentleman then started saying some of the oddest things.

In the same breath, he told me that I was a “rare flower,” a “great mage,” that I had a “calming and motherly air,” and the “power to change the course of a raid.” I think there was even a “great power, great responsibility” snippet thrown in with something about the “power of the vagina.”

As far as I can tell, he said it all with a straight face and was not struck down by lightning. Thank god for push to talk, though, because I was busting up.

I was getting whispers from guild master and her fiance, both offering to boot the guy from vent if he was too much of a problem.

A problem?

If only all harassment we saw was a kind-hearted drunk man talking about our leadership potential and skill, even if it was incredibly corny and slightly slurred.

The conversation moved on to my voice (“a breath of fresh air” – seriously, are you laughing as hard as I was?) and how it could impact a raid if I spoke up more.

(And if by some freak chance the gentleman is reading this post, please bear in mind we’re not laughing at you so much as the very idea that any of these flattering words would ever be seriously used to describe me.)

I replied that in pugs, I tended to not speak up as the usual pre-pubescent response to a woman’s voice is “TITTIES IN VENT!” and there is the potential for distracting the raid.

Silence.

OMG. Did I actually manage to offend the drunk guy?

No, just turned out he (and a few others) were struggling for breath through their laughter at my remark. Apparently I made his day with that one.

So, ladies, if you would like to bring a vent channel crashing to its knees, simply announce upon your arrival, “TITTIES IN VENT!”

Because with the great power of the vagina comes great responsibilities.

8 comments on “Maybe this should be my vent intro

  1. Sephrenya says:

    We have a similar number if not more females than males generally in our raids and on vent and it’s highly amusing if we bring PUGs and invite them to join us. We get the usual ‘OMG – female’ comment when they first hear one of us, then when more of us speak up you can almost hear them burst with excitement.

    Eventually, when they also realise we can actually play they want our guild website details so they can join. This is where our protective males come in and remind them that we are an adult guild and most of the females that they are hearing are married / committed / have kids / don’t appreciate said kids in our raids.

  2. telanarra says:

    Be honest its a voice modulator :)

  3. zarigar says:

    you go with your motherly vagina

  4. Windsoar says:

    Hail boobies!

  5. BOOBIES FTW should be a guild name!

    We have 7 couples in our guild, so we are about 55% male… and yea, when a pug comes into vent and there are more than once female voice, their testicles immediately seem to drop.

  6. Ahtchu says:

    Great catchphrase.

  7. [...] game, its community and the current content available? Damn straight it does. Why? Because I have Titties in Vent that has a Blog that says I can make a guest post, that’s why. Let’s get to the meat and [...]

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