Back to the basic

Remove Curse

Arcane spell, removes 1 curse-type debuff from a friendly player, costs 8% base mana.

Trainable by ALL mages at level 18 for about 20 silver.

So why aren’t mages fucking using it?

 Yes, this is another rant about utility, and I am spewing venom specifically at fucktard mages that refuse to sacrifice a GCD to keep their tank, their healers, and THEMSELVES alive.

That’s right.

I’m talking about the mages that have been told they need to decurse on Sapph, they themselves get cursed and they DIE before they will stop pewpewing long enough to remove the curse off their own fucking self.

Sapph is NOT a DPS race, it is a survival test. It is a don’t-stand-in-the-blizzard test. A get-behind-the-ice-block test. A keep-the-raid-alive test.

His enrage timer is 15 fucking minutes. You don’t need everyone at 3K DPS to pull this off. Maybe if you’re epeen is too small.

Before we started, the raid leader and I both emphasized that everyone that can decurse needs to help.

Yes, that was a wipe. Not my finest damage, I’ll admit.

Now let’s look at the dispells…

Hmmm… I did the lion’s share of the dispells yet am neck and neck with the other mages for damage. I am seriously not that cool. I’m also not using Decursive. The druid? He uses Decursive. The mages? They wouldn’t say anything. They also died to the curse.

Second attempt.

Told the raid: If you have the ability to remove a curse, at least remove it from yourself to cut down on how much running around other people need to do. Translation, if you’re not going to at least save the HEALER or TANK right next to you, at least SAVE YOUR OWN GAWDDAMN SKIN, kthxbai.

And again, I watched people die before they would remove a curse from themselves.

Is the curse really that bad? You tell me.

Per WoWWiki:

This is a curse that drains 4,500 to 5,500 health as Shadow damage and heals Sapphiron for 9,000 to 11,000 every 3 seconds for 12 seconds. Afflicts 5 random players every 24 seconds.

Sounds pretty sucky to me. Do you like healing the big dragon that you’re trying to kill? I know I don’t. Kinda counterproductive.

Third attempt.

You know what?

We got him that time.

Can you see the pattern?

If you can see that removing curses decreases the chance of a failtrain against Sapph, you win a cookie and are not a fucktard. If you still think that removing curses is for pussies, GTFO my raid.

So using class utility helps the raid and increases the likelihood of success. Agreed?

Should we then go on to face KT and apply this newfound pearl of wisdom?

No.

 Next basic spell!

Counterspell

Arcane spell, interrupts enemy spellcasting, costs 9% base mana.

Trainable by ALL mages at level 24 for about 40 silver.

Insanely useful in PvP, has its moments in PvE… like against KT when your raid is rogue and warrior-deficient.

 Enter KT’s chamber.

Tell the raid: OK, if you can interrupt, do so. Frostbolts put a lot of pressure on the healers.

Again, this is a survival fight. A don’t-stand-in-the-red-circles-of-death fight. A stay-10-feet-away-from-everyone-else fight.

Wipe number 1 damage:

And the interrupts:

In the rogue’s defense, there was a misunderstanding as to the melee placement and he bit it rather early. But there are still 2 other mages in the raid. I can’t even see the 3rd mage on the damage chart. Probably failed at a void zone. The shaman totem thing rocks. I <3 totems.

Wipe number 2:

And the interrupts:

Hmmmm…. I’m still doing more damage AND providing utility. Too bad the healers couldn’t keep up with all the damage.

Allow me to shamelessly plagiarize from WowWiki once again, this time regarding KT’s frostbolt:

Two-second cast. Inflicts 29,250 to 30,750 Frost damage and reduces movement speed of primary aggro target for 4 seconds; must be interrupted. Frost Bolt is cast at random intervals and is often chain-cast; having multiple Rogues and Warriors meleeing Kel’Thuzad at all times is ideal.

l don’t know about you, but I don’t have an extra 30K HP just laying around waiting to be tossed aside on a stray frostbolt. It’s a fucking shit ton of damage, even after whatever mitigation you have available.

I’m tired of tidying up screenshots to protect the innocent so I’ll sum up the last two runs.

Third attempt, looked much like attempt number 2.

It wasn’t until the 4th attempt and a DK started getting in on the interrupts did we finally get it done. The other mages? Still not a single fucking counterspell.

And the mind controls?

We would have to scream for crowd control. I can only sheep 1 person at a time. Not three. And if I’m the one controlled, I can’t sheep myself. I’m pretty sure ALL mages can learn polymorph as well. It comes in all sorts of flavors: there’s sheep, turtles, pigs, penguins, rabbits, black cats… it’s the most customizable spell we have. No one wants to use it.

Fuck useless mages.

If you don’t want to be a useless fucktard of a mage, follow these  pieces of advice:

• Don’t stand in the fire.
• Have all your combat spells available SOMEWHERE on your action bars. Even if you *never* use it, put it out there if you can cast it. Run out of room? Use a mod like Dominos or Bartender to get more space.
• Learn which fights require more than just pewpew. Noth, Sapph, KT. Those are the first 3 that come to mind. We have utility. Funny enough, those wacky guys over at Blizz designed some encounters with those silly utility abilities in mind.
• Get Deadly Boss Mods. It tells you when Sapph has Drain Life ready for use. Plan your spellcasting accordingly.
• Use a mod to see all your raid members. I like X-Perl, or try Grid. Use something so you can see everyone. Hell, use Decursive if you want to.
• Use a mouseover macro. Note that this macro can also be used with polymorph for emergency party control, simply insert the critter spell of your choice in place of the remove curse.
  /stopcasting
  /cast [target=mouseover] Remove Curse
• If you are a damage whore and are seeking to change your ways, hide your Recount during combat or have it display something like interrupts or dispells.
• Listen to the raid leader. If he says counterspell, you do it. If he says remove curse you do it. If utility is needed, provide it.

No one’s epeen gets bigger from the raid wiping.

No one gets loot if the boss doesn’t drop.

No one cares about your 1337 DPS if you’re kissing the floor.

And no one especially cares about your DPS if they’re laying on the floor next to you with 23 other people.