Last month we picked up 3 new recruits, they were a package deal – a prot pally, a DPS DK, and a shaman that we all thought was resto but it turns out he’s ele.

They will now be referred to as PallyA, DKB, and ShamanC.

PallyA was invited to the guild first, followed by DKB.

PallyA introduced his friend by saying, “here’s your new number 1 DPS.”

OK, hope you can put your money where your friend’s mouth is.

DKB’s name is a drug reference. Classy. Not even something clever, just a phonetic switch up.

A couple weeks go by and the officers are comparing notes on the recruits.

No one knows anything about ShamanC. He may have shown up to 1 raid but no one can recall him saying anything.

DKB thanked me for a port after a heroic run I did with him. The only time I can recall him saying anything. He is also the only one that registered on our guild site – a requirement for joining our raids.

PallyA. Whoo boy. The guy hardly ever says anything in guild chat, and when he does we immediately wish he would shut his mouth.

Example: Another member of the guild is expecting a baby (already has his For the Horde! onesie). This prompted PallyA to launch into a completely tasteful (/sarcasm) discussion of birth control. His preferred method is apparently the “spray and pray.” And while he’s not expecting any children he’s “been practicing like a mother fucker.”

We are not a prudish guild by any means, but the majority of our members have “normal” conversations to balance out the more crass content. Simple things like “hello” and “gratz” and “please” and “thank you” go a long way to building a more well-rounded image of an individual instead of only seeing garbage every time they post.

PallyA ran with our second raid group once that anyone can recall. He spent a good portion of the time telling everyone to hurry up and trying to rush the raid leader through explanations of fights for people that had not been through the content before. He also asked for guildies to be set aside and PuG replacements brought in.

We are not that kind of guild.

After that run, it turns out that PallyA and his crew were actively ignoring the efforts of our second raid leader to get raids put together. None of them would respond to whispers, open conversation in guild chat, invites on calendars – nothing. Instead, PallyA spent all his time in trade chat putting together PuG raids. Raids that he never directly informed the guild about. We only found out about them if we happened to catch trade chat.

I come to find out that PallyA had been contacting individual members of the guild and telling them that he’s putting together a 3rd raid group to run the same content as the progression raid group. On one of the same nights even. We barely have enough people now to pull that off and he’s going to compete directly with us for guild resources? Without clearing it with an officer? What he’s really going to do is run scheduled PuGs under our guild tag.

The officers had been contemplating booting him for a week or so. He is non-communicative, rude and just not a team player. His little group serves no purpose being in the guild other than sporting our guild tag and quite possibly giving us a bad name.

One of the other officers had a chat with PallyA on Sunday morning. He was told that we were looking for more integration from his group with ours, a better attitude, to register on the guild site, and to have a conversation with the second raid leader about what’s going on.

He said he had just woken up and needed “to get his head straight.”

Second raid leader whispers him.

No response.

Goes on for an hour or two with the second raid leader trying to get some sort of communication from him.

PallyA has an achievement pop in guild chat.

Several congrats go out.

No response. Par for the course.

Then my mage/DK friend gets into a 10-man Ony on his mage. He’s tanked her on his DK but this is the first time he’s gone in on his mage.

He’s fire spec.

We’ve been kind of spoiled in the newer content that there are very few mobs with any real resistances.

But Ony was resurrected true to form, complete with fire resistance.


His DPS dropped from 6k on trash to just shy of 4k on Ony herself (pre whelps). Still perfectly respectable DPS for a 10 man.

We’re teasing him about it, as normally he’s top of the damage meters on either toon.

Here’s how it went down:

Me: “switch frost

Me: “you know you want to

(Frost is his secondary spec and was his first love. Blech.)

Mage: “hmm, might actually do more dps against Ony, not going to do it though

(Can’t switch specs in combat.)

PallyA: “yeah, y dps hard when u can get carried right

Me: “wow

Guildmate: “0_0

PallyA: “is it shocking?

Me: “he’s also some damn good DPS

(Yes, it is shocking. This guy is consistently top of the charts, oh and beats out DKB “our new number 1 DPS.” He knows his numbers, spec, rotation, gear inside and out. The only thing keeping him in our guild is the social aspect. If he wanted to, he could apply for and be accepted to most any guild. If I were to rank people being carried in the guild, he’s so not being carried that I don’t have a spot on the scale. He carries other people. And if PallyA had ever, ya know, run stuff with us he would have known that.)

PallyA: “/golfclap

Me: (officer chat) “can we boot him?

Officer: (officer chat) “lol go for it, he’s hopeless!

Officer: (officer chat) “just give him a heads up!

(This is the officer that had a chat with him that morning. A few of the other officers had called for a stealth /gkick on this guy and his crew, that’s how badly he had rubbed them the wrong way. I agreed that stealth kicking probably wouldn’t be the best option for the image we want our guild to have.)

Me: “that was uncalled for

Me: “you’ve irritated enough people

PallyA: “how so?

PallyA: “i dont talk much to start

(And that’s the whole problem. We give each other shit in the guild all the time. But we also have polite conversation and support each other. A certain holy pally and I are at each other’s throats constantly (one of the guys thought that we were married, lol) but we’re also the first to congratulate the other on an achievement or volunteer to help the other with something. There is a balance to it. And lots of smiley faces, even when we’re at our most cruel.)

Me: “if you were trying to be cute or funny, you weren’t

Me: “you’ve done hardly anything to integrate yourself in this guild

PallyA: “y must u argue?

(Tangent – people that consistently shorten “why” to “y” and “you” to “u” bother me. In combat, fine. Doing it for comedic effect, fine. Every goddamn time you post? Lazy and/or stupid.)

Me: “because I think you’re a prick

PallyA: “good, my job here is done i can finally quit wow

Me: “awesome

(Pause, waiting for the /gquit on his own.)

Me: “gtfo

Me: “I have the support of the other officers for this

PallyA has been kicked out of the guild by Arioch.

Officer: “yessum

Second raid leader: “damn I was one second behind

Immediately following that was the mage getting the More Dots! and She Deep Breaths More achievements.

Because, ya know, he was being carried. And by carried I mean did over 6k overall and was #2 in both the DPS and damage spots. Someone’s back is hurting, I’m sure.

(I’m sure I didn’t get to say gratz with all the drama going on, so here you go: Gratz!)

We talked it over in officer chat and everyone was OK with how it turned out.

ShamanC was logged in the entire time and never said a peep.

The only thing I ever saw him say was a few hours later, “peace out” immediately followed by “ShamanC has left the guild.” and “DKB has left the guild.”

Best quote after they left, “but who will not raid with us now? :*(

Compare all that to our newest recruit who was active on the guild site before the armory even registered that his realm/faction transfer was complete.

Who immediately asked the guild healers what adds they were using and for assistance on some macros.

Who has real conversations with people in guild chat. Who puts together groups and participates in guild activities.

And sits under an umbrella with me. =)

What's on the BBQ? - Don't ask.

What's on the BBQ? - Don't ask.


11 comments on “/gkick

  1. Delerius says:

    I saw the line “3 new recruits this month” and then you went and talked about the Three Stooges and none of them was a druid. Then I got all the way to the end and smiled =D

    Thank you Arioch for not putting up with all that nonsense above and for offering me a place in this awesome guild.

    And that’s my hoof on the BBQ…


  2. telanarra says:

    mmmmmmmmmmmm BBQ Tauren Hoof


  3. thedoctor says:


    Great read!

    fucking idiots…you are way better off without them.


  4. Curious how they got to recruit status to begin with? Does your guild have an active recruiting policy? Did they approach you all?


  5. jong says:

    Man, PallyA is a huge scrubby dummy. Have fun in your new guild delerius.


  6. koalabear21 says:

    Reminds me of the mage I recruited for my guild. Was a seemingly nice guy. He was a fresh 80 on alliance side and had several 80s horde side. He was usually on when the late crew was so we tried to get him to run heroics with us. He signed up for raids that he never logged on for.

    When we would run heroics he couldn’t be assed to run with us, but instead would pug them. Because you know, that makes sense. Then during our first Ulduar raid he gets in chat and starts talking about how our raid times just aren’t good for him (he never bothered to tell us when a good time was) and that he just wasn’t a good fit. Before anyone could even say anything he had /gquit.

    The other new recruits were in vent and were all surprised with his actions.

    I almost wish he would have brought more entertainment like those guys, then I would have something to blog about >.>


  7. Dark/Soth says:

    I was amused more than anything at the guild chat during the Ony fight. We had wiped our first attempt because the OT was slow picking up the large dragonkin that spawn. That’s when I chimed in that I was irked that Ony was fire resistant. My only other option at the time was pvp frost. I’m sure I would of did less dps in that spec. So we pull Ony and then the jerk starts in with his rand against me.

    I’ve posted 5k-6k on so many boss fights and I was complaining in jest that I could only pull 4k (pre-whelps), and the jerk accuses me of being carried. Good riddance.


  8. theerivs says:

    Yeah do you have an application process. Yeah Applications don’t weed out alot of people, but I think it would of weeded out these nimrods.

    Long time ago we had one of these type idiots in our guild, his toon name was. “Theirongiant” …well we gkicked him, but my guild made fun of me for the longest time calling me Irongiant 2.0



  9. Shyste Chris says:

    I LOVE IT!

    Its funny (bittersweet actually), because you hate to be in the situation where you need to take action like that…

    But it’s HELLA (yes I said hella) fun to /gkick.

    Good Riddance.



  10. Fish says:

    LOL just remember, carrying clothies is easier than carrying say DK’s, PLATE ARMOR IS HEAVY!!!


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