I’m a Moron

A Slacker too, I believe.

I am an M&S.

And I’m proud of it.

I’m also a happiness ninja. More on that at the end.

If you are aware of Gevlon over at the Greedy Goblin (no link love here) then you are probably aware of his views on the majority of the WoW population.

Basically, if you’ve ever spent gold on an item because it looked neat, made you smile, or amused you in any way but didn’t turn around and sell it for a profit then you have an issue with keeping up with the Joneses or are an attention whore.

Or at least, that’s what his posts (and his rabid supporters in the comments) come off as.

The focus of his recent drivel was vanity pets.

This response comment from “Chris” in particular caught me:

Name 1 reason for owning a pet. If that reason is ‘enjoyment’ or ‘pleasure’ than name 1 reason WHY they give you enjoyment or pleasure. They dont stimulate any nerves, they cant entertain you more than a dancing desktop application, they bring nothing to the warcraft experience.

The point is, they are worthless. As in valueless. It’s the same as owning a pet rock.

Somebody needs a hug!

(And I’m pretty sure that there was a pet rock in the house when I was growing up.)

The whole concept of enjoyment isn’t *supposed* to require an explanation.

Why do I like the color green more than yellow?

Why do I prefer chocolate to vanilla?

Why do I think fat little birds are adorable?

Why do we love the people we love?

Why do we play WoW? (Which, in relation to the above quote, why is the “warcraft experience” exempt from needing an enjoyment explanation? Unless he plays the game because someone forces him to and he’s not having any fun. If his reasoning is about nerve stimulation, a Taser would be even more stimulating.)

My husband and I are in the 28-34 age bracket.

We both are successful in our work, we pay our taxes, middle-class-white-collar, blah, blah, blah, just need a white picket fence.

Some might even mistake us for responsible adults.

We both are lucky enough to work from the comfort of our home (which we own, our second actually).

My husband and I are fairly (OK, completely) reclusive; venturing out of the house on average once a week.

I dye part of my hair purple.

Matter of fact, I go to the salon with a friend, it’s our “girl thing” and one of my few outside-world activities, and pay good money to someone to dye my hair purple. (It’s worth every penny to not have to clean up the mess.)

Last time I saw the Joneses (they’re across the street, about 2 houses down, you know – the ones with the perfectly manicured lawn and the always-washed nice cars), they did not have purple hair.

I am past the age of trying to stand out in the high school crowd.

There is no crowd, high school or otherwise, anywhere in my house.

As I’ve mentioned, we leave the house infrequently. A trip to the grocery store. Maybe hit the book store, watch a movie.

So if I’m doing it to be an attention whore, I’m not whoring myself out very well. My husband’s a horrible pimp, he thinks I’m bat shit crazy for dying my hair purple.

Most of my friends and family just roll their eyes at me over it.

The cat doesn’t seem to notice.

It’s not proven to be wildly popular with people rushing to copy me or asking me to have their babies. (Before you ask, no.)

(Other than the mess, my hair dresser does seem to enjoy getting to do something different than the normal highlights and bleachings.)

Half a month will go by and no one but me, my husband, and the cat sees it.

So why do I do it?

Because I like it.

Why do I like it?

Because I do. Duh.

When I worked in the office I had a little resin flamingo that sat on my desk (I also had two full-sized pink plastic lawn flamingos, but that’s another story).

Now that I work from home he sits on my bookshelf.

There’s nothing special about him.

He came from the dollar store, was most likely made in China and I’ll probably get lead poisoning from him.

But when I turn around and scan the bookshelf, he catches my eye and makes me smile, just like he did when I saw him sitting all alone on the shelf at the store.

I also smile when I see the 42 order number that my hubby liberated from a restaurant for me.

And the sculpture of a fat little bird.

And the pirate rubber ducky.

And my parrot that squawks, “Hey, show us your tits!” when squeezed. (Thanks, Dad!)

Or the collection of stuffed animals on my dresser. (Not all are remnants of childhood, many are adulthood acquisitions).

Or my My Little Pony collection (Completely purchased as an adult).

What does my hair, a resin flamingo, and vanity pets have in common?

They’re totally worthless.

To someone else. Apparently having them makes me a moron in someone else’s opinion.

But to me, they each make me happy in some small way – making them priceless.

I used to read a comic years ago in the newspaper called Sherman’s Lagoon. I haven’t read it in quite some time, but there was a series of strips on happiness that always stuck with me and my husband.

It boiled down to the crab pinches the shark’s tail – the crab gains happiness while the shark loses some.

They come to the conclusion that there is a limited amount of happiness in the world.

Any time you gain happiness, you are doing so at the expense of someone else.

I seem to be efficient at extracting happiness from a myriad of sources, possibly as efficiently as Gevlon can crush an economy on a server.

People like me must be stealing his happiness and that’s why he and his supporters come off as such angry people.

/2 will trade happiness for gold, pst =)

PS –  I’ve come to my own conclusion that whether or not happiness is truly a fixed commodity, the opinions of unhappy people aren’t worth listening to. If their opinions were so great, they wouldn’t be so miserable.


14 comments on “I’m a Moron

  1. telanarra says:

    I wouldn’t say your a moron “OK i would but that’s unrelated to the post” I look at it this way everyone gathers gold in game to support themselves in certain endeavors. To a hardcore raider(by hardcore i mean those of you in guilds that tell you you have to be this Prof, you need to supply x amount of y items to the GB etc.) it would seem ludicrous to spend gold on a pet, mount, random pos item needed for obscure old world quest etc. To me its your gold and who cares how you spend it.

    “What does my hair, a resin flamingo, and vanity pets have in common?”

    you said worthless. I’m sorry the resin flamingo can easily be made into something useful. I’m sure your dad or Dennis Leary could figure it out

    “/2 will trade happiness for gold, pst =)”
    whats the snickerdoodle to gold ratio these days?


  2. jong says:

    “…the opinions of unhappy people aren’t worth listening to. If their opinions were so great, they wouldn’t be so miserable.”

    Do you read Pike’s blog? I like reading her blog, because she’s so happy all the time.


  3. Shawndra says:

    The whole reason I make any money at all in WoW is to support my “ooh,shiney!” habit.

    My desk area is surrounded by Warcraft stuff and stuffed dragons. I’m sure my kids and neighbors wonder if I’ll ever grow up :)


  4. Dakiros says:

    What’s the point in hoarding tons of gold like Gevlon does if you can’t spend it on things that you like? Its all fake money anyway and you can always make more, do what makes you happy!


  5. Jaedia says:

    /joins in with rant.
    Actually used to read the Greedy Goblin but I didn’t like the way he spoke about people, or his commentors. And I don’t like 2if you don’t use Auctioneer and undercut people by obscene amounts you’re a moron” ! Right. I hate Auctioneer and I hate being undercut by obscene amounts. Right off my blogroll. Gone.

    And yes, I love vanity pets, my giant cuddly Eeyore, the little random crap I’ve picked up in my life which now resides above my PC including a Piggy Bank, a weird looking cat I called Pokey, a TY Beanie Baby Black bear, a sad dragon and a Me to You bear an obsessed friend of mine bought for me to cheer em up once. And I’d LOVE to dye my hair purple but I’m looking for a job so I guess I shouldn’t :<


  6. Matt says:

    I don’t believe Gevlon would deem you either M nor S. I have loved his blog for quite some time, now, and from what I gather, he hates stupid people. You are not stupid, from the looks of your writings.

    He would disagree with your pet purchases, most likely. But that doesn’t make you bad at this game. If you have sweet pets and asked to borrow gold to repair after a wipe, or pulled less dps than the tank, then yes, you would be an M, S, or both.

    But the fact is, you raid, you pull your own weight (or rock the hizzie in Photoshop,) and if you have a thing for vanity pets, who cares?



  7. Raven says:

    Hmm…limited amount of happiness. Actually makes a lot of sense. I must track down the one that’s been stealing mine (long story) and put them out of my misery. (maybe I should have been horde??)

    And truly…how hypocritical of antipet/achievement whores (yup they’re whores too so they can just get over it) to use the ‘justify its worth’ argument. Yes…the game of Warcraft has totally justifiable worth unlike the achievements. /eyeroll Gold nazi’s begin your argument…now. And while you are yapping I’m going to go purchase a Striped Dawn Saber because OMG!! I just love kitties. K, thanks…bye now.

    LOVED this post more than you’ll probably ever know.



  8. Shyste Chris says:

    @telanarra Mmmmm….snickerdoodle
    @Ari– flamingos eh? I got the same thing going with garden gnomes. Got one as a gag gift one year, and the collections just kinda grown…on the plants at work, hidden in various corners of the office, frequently finding their way onto friends’ lawns… =)


  9. Fish says:

    I just couldn’t put up with the goblin anymore. He strikes me as one of those guys who tries SOOOO hard to fit in the the smart kids. I work in the securities industry, so trying to rule the auction house seems an awful lot like work. I have a semi working grasp of arbitrage and economics and you know what? I play the game to kill stuff. I got into Wow because I had played the old school Warcraft and I kinda liked Diablo and a bunch of people from my work played. Wow is sucessful because they cater to the M&S crowd. And we’re all M&S to some degree. . .

    btw, seeing your banner made me change my priest’s hair to the one on your banner. . .not that I see it that often lol


  10. rustbeard says:

    I agree totally. Not only am I a secret vanity pet collector, I’m an outright mount collector. If I ever totaled the gold spent in mounts, I’d probably be sick to my stomach. But, what is there better to do while waiting for my raid group not to form?

    66 mounts and counting, the achievement will be mine! Muhahahaha.


  11. koalabear21 says:

    Gevlon is a businessman, thats what he does. Emotion is not supposed to be allowed in business. That is the excuse men use for not wanting women in business.

    I can’t understand the people who play the game to just amass gold. Why are they even in WoW, shouldn’t they be in EVE?

    The sheer amount nerdrage over these pets is insane. And it is nerdrage. There are no if ands or buts about it. Nerds/Geeks/Gamers don’t do well with change period.

    I personally am jealous that you are able to have purple hair. I unfortunately work in an office setting where I can’t even wear sandles, which means my totally cute toe rings can’t be seen. It also means I can’t get the really awesome leg tatoo that I want because then I wouldn’t be able to wear skirts again. *sad face*

    I am sure you are already ignoring him, but let the fun suckers have their joyless lives elsewhere and just focus on what makes the game fun for you. Which you are obviously doing. :D

    BTW my post tomorrow has you tagged for something.


  12. Johnny says:

    Commencing slow clap in





    …………*clap* ..*clap*..*clap*…

    But seriously, well written piece.


  13. Darraxus says:

    I like Gevlon’s blog….when he sticks to gold making. When he goes into social commentary he sounds like a tard more often than not. I am closing in on the gold cap (about 7k away). It was a goal of mine to reach it. What am I going to do when I get there? Send most of it off to my other toons to get stuff I want….and probably give some to friends as Birthday gifts etc. If it makes you happy, it is not worthless. My wife makes me happy….I cant sell her….that doesnt make her worthless. She is worth everything to me. Gevlons thinking is misguided at best.


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