And in stark contrast to yesterday…

Note: No posts for the rest of the week, everyone enjoy your holiday of choice and see you next Monday!

Yesterday was all about warm fuzzies, fluffy kittens, prancing unicorns, and cotton candy.

Damn, I love cotton candy.

But as heart-warming as such posts can be, it just can’t compare with the side-splitting hilarity that is fail.

If nothing else, this new LFG is awesome for churning out blog fodder. The myriad of ways that people can be stupid will never cease to amaze me.

I’ve got a little side project going – a nelf DK on another server.

It’s a PvE server and boy does that feel weird.

I have no idea what battlegroup I’m in, should probably look that up one of these days.

/scurries off to check

Vengeance.

Anyway, this is my first high-ish level melee character that I have a clue what to do with.

A small clue, but better than my first poor warrior.

I’ve been collecting tanking gear because I would like to learn the tanking ropes, but I hadn’t gotten around to dual spec yet, this character is surviving on his own with no BoA or seed money from another character. I did get my flier.

I waited until after 3.3 to try doing instances with him, Outlands is looking pretty sparse just server-side.

Queue for Ramps as DPS. I’m level 65 or so, first instance on this guy, I’m in quest reward gear out of Hellfire Peninsula and Zangermarsh.

Get a group and zone in.

3 DKs – me and the two that shall be known as Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

We also have a ret pally and a holy pally.

Damn, that’s a lot of plate.

Rumor has it that the UI now shows who signed up as the tank. My non-standard UI does not. Usually, this isn’t too much of a problem.

I know I didn’t sign up to be the tank and the pally has already stated he is not the tank.

That leaves the Tweedle Brothers.

Except, we need to hold that thought because one of them scooted too far forward and aggroed the pat while the pallies were still buffing.

Mass chaos ensues, but we all survive.

OK, back to who’s the tank?

Hmmm… I am 2 levels higher than both DKs. I have 2k more health than either of them. I don’t recall getting a 1k HP bonus at 64 and 65.

I am in blood presence. BOTH of them are in FROST presence. And I still have 2k more health.

(In retrospect, I should have inspected them to see how much spellpower plate they were packing.)

OK, guys? One of you needs to pop to blood presence, you can’t both be in frost.

Tweededee: “But I am in blood, I have no points in frost.”

/facepalm

Your PRESENCE, not your SPEC.

[insert speech about all three trees being viable for tanking (yes, I know unholy isn’t doing as well right now) and the difference between a spec and a presence]

Got the DPS DK to switch to blood presence. Finally.

Start up again.

ZOMG mobs everywhere!

Holy pally suggests that I tank as I have more hit points.

Um, OK. I’m not specced into any avoidance, but I can try.

I pull on my tank gear and pop frost. 8k HP, woot!

Hey, Tweededum. You need to pop to blood presence.

[crickets chirping]

Dude, I’m not fighting you for threat, pop to blood.

[cricket encore]

The paladins start chiming in at this point.

We’re explaining what button he’s looking for, linking abilities, everything.

Tweedledum: “But I like frost.”

/facepalm

It increases your threat.

“It does?”

/facepalm

Next couple pulls go smoothly, I’m nervous as hell.

Pat is coming down and I want to snag it without the group of casters on the side.

I call for everyone to pull back.

Both pallies run back to where I am.

The Tweedle Brothers stand there and aggro the whole mess.

Maybe if I was specced for it, maybe if I had, ya know, ever actually tanked something before we would have been OK.

It’s a wipe.

Healer apologizes, wishes us luck, and leaves.

The ret pally follows suit.

I’ve never run back to HFC as a dead Alliance character. I almost ran to Thrallmar and then to the Citadel just to get my bearings.

Before I enter, I’m looking at the recount.

As a tank, I’m doing the top damage. The ret pally is just behind me in damage, with higher DPS.

We’re anywhere from 600-800 depending on the pull.

I’m perfectly happy with the pally.

Tweedledee is at 275.

Tweedledum is at 250.

Hey, Tweedledee. You’ve only cast Icy Touch 3 times so far this whole run. You need to be using that more often.

“Why would I use that?”

/headdesk

I don’t know, maybe because you’re a DEATHKNIGHT?

Look, guys. You both need to do some research on your class. There’s a lot of great information out there. Good luck.

/leave fail party

/cast Death Gate

Why yes, class trainer, I would like to hear more about this dual specialization feature you offer.

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18 comments on “And in stark contrast to yesterday…

  1. scidrew says:

    Hey! Long time no see.

    Like

  2. Raven says:

    haha…thats great.

    Like

  3. Paul says:

    Great story. Best of luck with your tanking adventures. Makes one think that not many brain cells are required for some of the DPS folks. “Hit button 1 then hit button 2.” I have been messing around with recount also. Is the tank really supposed to put out more damage than the DPS?

    Like

    • Euripedes says:

      Generally speaking, an actual DPS class should deal more damage and have higher DPS than a tank.
      But this is not always the case.
      Consider Onyxia. A prot paladin tanking whelps is going to be pushing 7k DPS for the entire fight, just from the one small window where he’s tanking whelps.
      If you’re in a melee heavy raid, you, as a ranged DPS, could very well be assigned to just DPS Ony down to phase 3. You won’t come close to the tanking paladin in such a case.

      Like

  4. Frostsmoke says:

    With all the sites out there on rotations, specs and such–one should be able to pickup some skill simply from osmosis. Those that choose to fail are either willfully ignorant, or want some one to put them in a wagon and take them shopping for loot. I am sorry you had 2 in a 5 man group–40% fail is nigh impossible to carry. Also–did they not even bother to read when doing DK starting area?

    Like

  5. theerivs says:

    As a mage, you must have an alt tank. Thats the rule. LOL. Mine is a pally!. Dual spec, Prot/Ret. I have no clue what I’m doing, but it’s nice to survive things now.

    Like

  6. scidrew says:

    Oh yeah my sister is a Mage.

    Like

  7. shystechris says:

    DK Tanking is awesome up to about…patch 3.3.
    After that, it all goes to crap. I can tank ToCr ok–but fights after just have too much damage without block.

    DK’s have such low HP, that I actually found it was easier to give up a few % dodge, and gem straight Stam instead. Higher HP allows you to take more hits, rather than hoping for a dodge.

    I’m still waiting for Blizz to add a “block” mechanic to DK tanking. I expect to see it in Cataclysm. =p

    Like

  8. shystechris says:

    Oh– and you know what’s really funny?

    I was tweedledee back when I was levelling up too… I didn’t quite figure things out till the day I hit 80.

    Like

  9. This post, and some of the experiences I’ve had over the last week inspired me to write a post. Unfortunately, my post got progressively meaner as I wrote it, so I ended up gutting it and going for a short blurb.

    I’m so tired of carrying people that don’t know their class, and that includes my guildmates.

    Raid Leader: “okay XXX, if the blood beasts spawn and get stuck on the tanks, distracting shot them. If they get too close to you, feel free to feign death, we need you alive.”

    XXX: “kk”

    After the fight, XXX had 0 distracting shots, 0 misdirects, 0 Feign Deaths and 1 death to a blood beast. :/

    Like

  10. daemia says:

    It was awfully nice of you to not call them Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber. I guess it’s the holiday spirit.

    Happy Holidays!

    Like

  11. Anea says:

    As Cynwise wisely told me on twitter:

    For every ruthlessly efficient PuG there is an equal and opposite fail PuG. It’s a natural law.

    Like

  12. For The Pie says:

    In my experience the lower your level, the higher chance for fail PuG.

    BTW, FYI, the tank needs time to get the mob 1) aggroed 2) positioned 3) a chance to build rage/runic power (if warrior/druid/DK)

    Running ahead of the tank into the mobs is not smart. And yes, I’ve had a warrior, rogue and hunter beat me to the mobs multiple times.

    Like

  13. rustbeard says:

    I think I’ve run across these folks before. As a part-time frost tanking DK, I extend my sympathies – I’m going blood on the new version, with almost 0 intent to tank, at least until my new guild begs me to … which will be the day after I hit 80, if not sooner.

    Like

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