WoW: The Numbers

ZOMG

Is she FINALLY going to get around to posting numbers after jerking us around all week?

13

69

(teehee)

474635

There, you got numbers, you happy?

Alright, alright, I’ll post some numbers and I’ll cut to the chase:

IF

(That’s a big IF)

IF we insist on setting up a “you must be this leet to ride this heroic” measurement…

I stand by my initial figure of 1k minimum.

I know, I know, Shyste showed that people in crap gear can do 1500-1700 without a problem.

But until Shyste can figure out how to give the entire party a lobotomy and remove their knowledge of the instances and their classes, I still think 1500 (though certainly plausible) is not necessarily the bottom floor.

Now, I am not DEMANDING 1k.

I am WANTING 1500k+.

I am EXPECTING 1k, and I’m generally not disappointed.

So how did I arrive at this number?

Well for starters it’s a nice, even number, no straggler bits of ones and tens hanging around.

And because, honestly, if they’re in the party with me or another person that knows what the fuck to do, they might not be able to squeeze out much more than that.

If the court will allow me to introduce Exhibit A:

A random Heroic Culling of Stratholme.

Yikes, I’m at the bottom of the DPS. (Yes, the DK was the tank)

The hunter had exceptional burst DPS, followed by exceptional aggro stealing, followed by an exceptional ability to not dump threat.

Feign death? That would cut into his precious damage. It was a testament to the healer’s skill that the hunter did not die once.

As a result, the tank was all over the place trying to keep control.

The ret pally blew up undead, as ret pallies do.

I’m actually surprised at how close I am to the ret pally in damage, what with all the buffs he gets to laying the smack down on the walking dead.

Anyway, this was a group of people that fairly knew what the fuck to do.

Our overall damage contribution is consistent, only 2% difference between the top and bottom.

We were practically scratching each other’s eyes out trying to eke out that extra little bit of damage.

If I didn’t have the level of self-preservation, the respect for healers, and the pity for the tanks that I have, I probably would have been on top – of the DPS list and the tank/healer’s ignore list for being an idiot DPS, much like that hunter probably ended up.

But I used the tools I had available and decided that dying in a heroic just to get that extra 1% damage wasn’t worth it.

…

Now let’s look at Exhibit B:

A random Heroic Utgarde Keep.

Again, we have a DK tank.

And I’ll point out that I very rarely use AoE when running with an unknown tank, they make me nervous.

So I’m at 4k, the tank is pulling 2.2, and the remaining DPS are pulling 1500-1900. Almost 30% difference between top and bottom.

I was basically on cruise control for this run, I happen to enjoy UK a lot and was just in it for the ride. I popped cooldowns when I thought about it, but basically just fell into the zen of a rotation and didn’t over think what I was doing.

So whereas in CoS I was planning what I could do to get higher on the chart and then protect myself if the tank lost it, this was more like WoW yoga. Breathe in… Arcane Blast… Breathe out… Arcane Blast…

The hunter was in full purples, lowest ilevel 213 (Grim Toll trinket). Looking at achievements, he raided in Naxx but hasn’t done much since. He hit 80 over a year ago.

The paladin is in an odd mash up of blues, with a green, and a few purples. Notable is 2 of the Headless Horseman rings. But hey, they’re purple. And he hit 80 just last month.

We got through it just fine.

Do I feel like I carried the group?

Meh, we would have gotten through it even if I had only been at 3k.

Matter of fact, if I had only been at 3k, the others might have actually gotten to kill something, resulting in higher damage/DPS for them.

Between them, I might be a little disappointed in the hunter. But I didn’t catch him afk or picking his nose and it wasn’t like I was actually working to pick up his slack.

…

Now, let’s look at a hypothetical situation.

Me rocking the charts. (can’t spell damage without MAGE)

Dark/Soth tanking on his DK, and rocking the charts. There are some instances I have trouble keeping ahead of him – when he’s the freaking tank. (And he wonders why we think he has brain damage when he said he’s not that much above average. /hug)

Toss in my rogue hubby, also rocking the charts. (nerf rogues, oh wait, they’re going to)

Now add in some poor nub 80 fresh into heroics.

We’re probably looting the first pull by the time he’s finished saying “hai gaise!”.

If he tries to assist the tank, he’ll be lucky to get two shots off before we’ve destroyed that target.

AoE?

Too late. FoK, DnD, Flamestrike and Blizzard all took care of it while he was patiently waiting for the tank to gain aggro.

The poor guy’s numbers are going to blow donkey dong through no fault of his own.

I would be amazed if he actually could hit 1k with the artillery that the three of us could be dishing out.

And what if we brought in a resto shaman that threw out chain lightning because he was bored? Holy pally goes shockadin? Priest lays down with the Holy Smites?

Even worse for the poor guy.

…

Yes, I expect to see a minimum of 1k from everyone hitting a heroic.

Chances are, if you’re not at 1k you’re missing something – could be spec, gear, rotation, a clue.

BUT…

If you end up in a group that really knows what the fuck to do, you might not get a chance to show what you can do.

The leet peeps make it even harder by their very awesomeness for the scrubs to even do anything and then they blame the noob for not keeping up… it’s a mobius strip of illogic.

You must do over 9000 points of damage! But I am doing over 1 million points of damage! Leaving you with nothing to damage! But you must do over 9000 points of damage to be cool like me! And you must outgear the instance to do this much damage! Never mind that you are running this instance to get the gear! You must do over 9000 points of damage!

(Totally seeing one of those Speed Racer-esque animation sequences with the poor budget so it’s a head shot of the character with a flashing background and the mouth is the only part of the character moving. And of course it’s horribly dubbed so he stops talking long before his mouth stops moving.)

EDIT: Ak was totally awesome enough to see my vision and recreate it in stunning epilepsy-inducing detail. I am honored.

…

So, as always, the correct answer is 42.

…

I got a few homework assignments turned in and plan on putting those together over the weekend into something resembling a useful or cohesive post. Longer term, I’m keeping track of damage on both my DK and my pally as they level and will start on my priest.