Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

That is the sound of a level 78 priest healing a normal Forge of Souls with a suicidal level 80 warrior in ICC 10/25 gear. Not to mention the similarly geared DK and warlock. Oh, and my tank was a 79 pally.

It is also the sound of the same priest healing CoS and Halls of Lightning.

Remarkably, in the what seems like 9-10 instances we ran, there were only 3 deaths, 2 of them mine.

I do not scream while healing in Gun’drak or HoS.

Those I’m actually a little bored in.

And therein lies the question of whether or not I’m cut out to be a healer.

Shield, Prayer of Mending…

Bored.

Bored.

Jump. Jump. Jump.

Bored.

Oh look! Something shiny!

Bored.

Bored.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHERE DID THE TANK’S LIFE GO?

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I am literally doing this low-volume scream while I heal, when I’m not distracted by a brightly colored bit of string on the desk.

And my husband can hear it while he’s in the next room.

That CANNOT be the most reassuring sound a tank hears from his healer.

Of all the runs I did last night, I think the FoS may have been the most useful in terms of learning how to heal.

There was considerably more party damage than in anything else I’ve run so far and it forced me to actually use those party heals instead of just tossing a Renew on everyone out of boredom and calling it good.

Binding heal was put to use frequently. How the hell was I taking so much damage?

Learning or not, I was still screaming the entire time, yelling at the little life bars to quit dropping, freaking out because my GCD is soooooo goddamn slow.

They managed to kill me in about 2 seconds with mirrored soul at the end, I couldn’t even shield myself because it was on cooldown…

The freakout syndrome is completely different than my PvP jitters.

Understandable, as it’s two different types of potential for failure (or in the case of my PvP record, a guarantee of failure).

The difference between being killed by another player whose skill outmatches mine is relatively easy for me to accept versus letting someone in my group die.

As a healer, I feel if someone in my group dies it’s because I didn’t save them. Never mind the fact that they may have been standing in the pool of instant-death, I feel like I must have missed something that would have made the difference. Also never mind that I am screaming obscenities at them and questioning everything from their intelligence to their heritage to their sexual preference for animals while holding myself responsible for their death.

So I guess I’m looking for either reassurance that this is a normal phase of learning to heal or a warning that it means I’m going to give myself a coronary and I should just spec shadow.

Am I doomed or will this go away? Healers, let me know.

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30 comments on “Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

  1. Sephrenia says:

    Go Disc :) It’s much easier. Shield everyone, renew the tank just in case, cast POM on the tank, sit back and eat chocolate :)

    Like

  2. Slopoke says:

    It goes away, especially when YOU outgear the instance as well. But like you said, when you weren’t freaking out, you were bored. So the freakout, and the guilt when someone dies, is part of the entertainment… right?

    Like

  3. Delerius says:

    You’re on the right track at least.

    What we pro healers do for entertainment, is *not* heal. See how low you can let them go before you bring them back up ;-)

    Or you can conveniently *forget* to re-heal anyone *cough*warlocks*cough* who annoys you.

    Personally, I have never been a fan of raid leaders being the healer. It comes down to this simple fact that you mentioned already: what if they are standing in the bad? As a healer, you *must* learn to realize that it can’t be your fault they died, so you should move on, but as a raid leader it should very much concern you that one of your kittens is being bad. But again, it’s not your fault. Take notice, remind them, but do not take the blame. Ever.

    Like

  4. Jaedia says:

    Ahaha, I can’t heal or tank. I try to heal. But stick me in a semi difficult instance and I’ll start squealing and yelling obscenities too. Last time I tried to heal… at level 80 because my 60ish Druid is fine, I was holy Paladinning TotC HC after not having healed for a loooong time, I think the poor Rogue almost had an aneurysm he died so much. I specced ret after that. But if I won’t let myself tank, I’m determined to have a healer that I can successfully keep a group alive with.

    Like

  5. My first attempt at FoS was Heroic, rather than Normal and it was…different. I just BARELY met the gear requirements and my tank was in the same boat. We were pretty much a full alt run, which made it even more difficult as the mobs weren’t blowing up in .3 seconds. No wipes, but I decided I wasn’t going back until I got a couple more pieces of gear.

    As to whether or not you are cut out for it…I believe you aren’t. Here is why, “As a healer, I feel if someone in my group dies it’s because I didn’t save them. Never mind the fact that they may have been standing in the pool of instant-death, I feel like I must have missed something that would have made the difference.”

    I’ve reached the point where if I notice I keep having to heal someone because they are standing in the bad…I stop. :D Then when the fight is over and I’m ressing I say something snarky about how this death was brought to you by standing in bad stuff.

    The purple elemental boss in Gundrak is notorious for killing my party members. When I’m in a guild run and on vent I’ll even say something in vent about them not receiving anymore heals because I don’t like the color purple/green/black/whatever. They usually move at that point.

    Seems like a lot of folks are working on healers right now. I know I’m digging mine.

    Like

  6. Vordan says:

    You know my main is a holy paladin and I never had any problems with wanting scream at the screen like im crazy, however I do think it is a priest problem I have. Seems every time I get in a sticky situation on my priest while healing, I screw up the situations more with my panic. There are just so many more heals to deal with and you have to decided if the one you choose is right for the situation. Ive played holy and disc healing, disc is by far easier, but still…aaghhhh. Good thing I have Darraxus tanking when I heal on my priest or things might be a little more screwy.

    Like

  7. smart001 says:

    It passes, it passes.

    Then, BAM out of nowhere, your tank dies because you are overgeared and bored…that is your fault. But sometimes, it just cannot be helped (squishy tank in H HoR for example). Healing for me made raiding exactly what I needed, it just never clicked with me and the hunter the way it does when I am healing. Even my tank (which is AMAZING, doesnt hold a light to healing in my opinion).

    That being said, I am about as excited as I can be for cataclysm because my next new toon is going to be a goblin priest alchemist, herbalist. Not sure if male or female, will have to look at animations (dances, cheers, casts etc). Doesn’t have anything to do with your post, but you said priest, so…you know. ADD FTW!

    Like

  8. smart001 says:

    Man, need and edit button, there are some serious grammar issues up there. Sorry for the lack of edit before submit button pressing.

    Like

  9. Raven says:

    Aaaaaahhhhhh!!! Is good practice. Raiding is never boring for a healer. There is always someone to heal, something to move out of, something to purge, or something to…

    Festergut is no longer an issue for us but when we first started by the time we brought him down I was wired for an hour because every type of heal had to be timed just right to keep the tank up when the room was completely clear. When there was gas everywhere you had 20 something other bars to watch because loosing even one dps could be catastrophic with that dps race.

    If you can go through the more difficult instances without pissing people off then I’d say stick with them. If you plan on raid healing it’s helpful to get used to that level of stress.

    Like

  10. daemia says:

    That sounds about right. In groups it would often be me mashing buttons and chanting, “shit shit shitshitshit ShitShitSHITSHIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!” while Mr. Hubby was merrily dps’ing next to me like “what’s wrong?”

    Honestly, I always felt somewhat bad whenever someone in the group died. It wasn’t just that I felt responsible for keeping everyone alive, it was that I also felt like I should be sufficiently awesomesauce to compensate for whatever idiocy my group members were preparing to vomit out.

    So yeah, it gets better. Except for HoR, which can DIAF.

    Like

  11. koalabear21 says:

    In my defense I was being good. I didn’t pull aggro, I didn’t life tap (dark pact ftw) and I didn’t even have a dot up on the final boss.

    In fact, I was trying to soul stone you (people didn’t wait for the cool down >.>) so that if you did die, you could pop back up.

    Good warlock kitten was good

    Like

  12. zelmaru says:

    Unfortunately, if you’re a holy priest, you’re gonna have to do a lot of “pre-casting” (and then canceling, or if mana isn’t a problem, just overhealing) to avoid the “ohshitohshit” moments. This article at healing council is for shaman, but it works for holy priests too: http://healingcouncil.com/2010/03/26/anticipating-damage-an-introduction-of-sorts/ Another good one: http://healingcouncil.com/2010/02/14/spell-guide-what-buttons-do-i-press-part-i-holy-version/ And remember… priests have a lot of good oh-shit buttons. Don’t be shy to use them and practice with them. Most are under 3 min cooldown.

    Also… people are dumb in FOS etc. They AOE stuff they shouldn’t be AOEing. I keep up damage meters – not to show DPS, but to show damage taken. So when I spam THOSE in chat, that the boomkin was taking 33% and the tank was taking 37% I give them a little lecture on how I don’t do miracles.

    Sephrenia is right about disc – it’s much easier for 5 mans. It has better single-target damage mitigation/healing, and you can anticipate damage a little better. Holy is very powerful, but it’s also very slow and reactive, and requires a different mindset. I found it easier in 5’s with disc, you feel more “in control” of the incoming damage in the group because you can do “stuff” before the damage comes in, instead of waiting helplessly. Regardless of spec, stacking haste to about 15% or higher does wonders for how “in control” you feel in a fight.

    Good luck! And don’t freak out. I suspect that the DPS were being dumb, and tanks in 5-mans are very lazy about using their cooldowns at all.

    Like

    • koalabear21 says:

      Just to reiterate – This was a guild run

      She is level 78, the tank was level 78 (maybe 79). The dps warrior does 9-10k in raids. The dps dk does around the same. Sometimes more.

      I was the warlock

      We all watched our threat and were aware of what was going on.

      There was no unnecessary AoE

      Do you really think we would do that to her?

      Like

    • zelmaru says:

      Oops reading fail – it’s early! Then I think it’s just the other stuff other than group fail – holy priesting is slow, hard to keep on top of stuff… and lvl 78 for the new instances is difficult.

      My husband is in the same room, and when he hears me say “ohshitohshit” his response is a calm “popping cooldowns.”

      Like

    • koalabear21 says:

      It’s all good.

      We are evil to her, just not when she is healing.

      We do live in fear of the /gkick

      Don’t kick me!

      Like

  13. ambient says:

    As smart001 says, letting the tank dip dangerously low b/c you were, say….typing in gchat is definitely your fault. (Not that I have experience with this. >.> Boot speed enchant + Penance from max range has saved my butt so many times in heroics…) They refuse to run out? Not your fault. They recklessly pull large groups, or scoff at suggestions to utilize CC in level-appropriate content? Not your fault. Overwhelming damage, particularly of the type that is your class’ weak spot? Not your fault. In the beginning I’d say “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you”, but not anymore (and that was an intentionally half-ass apology even then). Learning to heal not only involves learning your abilities and the rhythm of the whole thing, but also learning what you *should* be able to do. With experience, you’ll be more confident about when things aren’t your fault, and can stop feeling guilty.

    I also greatly preferred learning (yes learning) to heal in raids rather than heroics. Heroics today are messed up…random people in random disparate gear levels, causing healing needs to zig zag all over the place. Your attention wanders because there really IS nothing to do for stretches of time. Raids are tuned much more tightly — damage is consistent in accordance with the mechanic, in amounts you are supposed to be able to heal through. Plus you have the rest of the healing team to support you, so you don’t have to be 100% perfect every time! Try out a 10 man or the weekly raid quest and see what you think.

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  14. Shystechris says:

    Isn’t healing a rush?

    I originially levelled my Pally so that the guild had a backup healer– but after I started healing, I don’t think that I’ll ever want to go ret or prot.

    I’m such a hardcore dps fanatic, I never thought I’d have that much fun healing. Now, my pally’s gone just as far as my DK. Wait till you get to heal fester and rot, and solo heal Saurfang. Those is good times =)

    Like

    • koalabear21 says:

      Solo healing Saurfang is not good times >.>

      It never fails when I heal that fight. My co-healer is a disc priest and she ALWAYS gets the mark.

      Druid are awesome, but damn do I hate that fight >.>

      Like

    • slice213 says:

      o.o deathbringer fight is fun!!!! It was more fun when PW:S actually prevented a lot of BP getting built up.

      PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S, PW:S

      Somewhere in their PoM, and Penance!

      Like

  15. Slice213 says:

    I agree with the above (with more gear) disc is easier on the blood pressure in 5 mans.

    When i 1st got to the 5 man heroics, I was holy 4 life. It was tougher, but not difficult. CoH, PoM, 3 stacks of serendipity -cast PoH or GH as needed and cancel when needed. FH and renew for spot healing.. Holy plays the catch up game, while disc prevents the dmg and you spot heal as needed. (much like evil druids)

    Best way to heal imo, is heal Zug, no joke. lol.

    Learn to holy and disc will be a walk in the park.

    Like

  16. Goldslipper says:

    Hey Arioch, not a priest, but I definitely can appreciate what you are saying. It is those nerve-wracking moments, for me, that are the catalyst for tweaking and moving to the next level of performance, whether it be a better sequence of spells, knowing the fight better to provide anticipatory healing, or utilizing the lesser-used spells.

    I experienced that same OHNONONONONOO moment this morning, healing FoS for my random, so as a healer, I think you are experiencing something that is normal, at least from my limited perspective :P

    Like

  17. zarigar says:

    Standing in the fire in HoS is good practice for pugging.

    Like

  18. Sorak says:

    Meh, you can do what Osh does when he’s bored, he DPS’s and pulls for the slow ass tank that isn’t going fast enough for him!

    Like

  19. Sorak says:

    You can do what Oshara does.

    DPS and forget about healing…

    Or pull for the tank when you get bored!

    Like

  20. Sorak says:

    Damn double posts…

    Like

  21. Berry says:

    Yes, with time and practice the EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEE! factor drops considerably. Heroics will always be la la la punctuated by Ahhh! Get Out of the Fire! Raid Bosses have a rhythm. Some of them are just smooth rotations of cast cast cast just watching the falling bars for targets. Others have hold on with tooth and nail and press the panic button moments. But either way, it will be less stressful.

    You will always feel bad when someone dies… unless they realllly pissed you off.

    Like

  22. piercedprep says:

    You need to change your attitude.. Don’t freak out when someone dies, laugh.

    Like

  23. Rurjaos says:

    “Aaaaahhh”-moments will fade out, if you learn, how much incoming dmg at a given time/encounter is normal. Everything above that mark depends on poor equip or skill. The first I tend to compensate, the second I don’t.
    There’s no 5man-encounter that isn’t doable by 3 good players (except new heroics). So If 1 or 2 slackers are in your team… their bill…

    Like

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