You put your druid in…
You put your druid out…
OMG? No! WTF are you doing?
Get back out there!!!!
Would you like to release?
And that’s how my most recent trip to ZA looked.
Zone in to a DPS asking the obligatory, “time run?” which the tank ignored. (The hunter that asked was on a bear so I don’t know why he cared other than just not wanting to spend eternity in there.)
Clean-ish pull to the first boss.
The druid healer seemed to be lagging a bit behind and the tank was dangerously low on health much of the time.
Pulling the boss resulted in a near wipe with the healer dying shortly followed by the pally tank.
I was hoping the warrior could stay alive long enough for me to invis, cancel it, and finish off the boss but the poor warrior crumpled and the boss reset before I could so much as right-click my button.
No big deal, we’re still decent on time. Make the kill and move on.
Healer pulls patrol. Again, near wipe.
But this time, I can’t pull a mass rez because they’re still on cool down.
Healer asks why he isn’t getting a rez.
I know that the timed run is a definite no-go at this point.
Wipe on trash pack immediately before next boss.
Get to bear boss. Rotation is healer, me, hunter.
Healer is just kind of running around, but we manage somehow.
Work our way to cat boss, pulling every other trash pack along the way.
The hunter was even marking the patrols so the healer could see them.
Apparently the purple diamond has a strong magnetic effect on resto druids as he would literally run face-first into them.
The hunter mysteriously goes afk and we 4-man the cat boss, barely.
By the time we finished that fight the healer admitted to this being his first time in the instance, but that he had watched some videos.
Points for honesty and an attempt to self-educate. That information would have been really useful over an hour ago when the run started. (Yes, my flask had worn off.)
Kick the hunter when he goes offline and get a shaman.
Finally. Last boss. Explain the basics of the fight.
First form is bear.
No problem, we did bear earlier without too much issue.
And we get a prime example of what a fluke is.
Boss shifts. Healer runs in to melee.
Wipe. Explain mechanics again.
Wipe. Put down world markers.
You stand on red X. After the boss turns into a bear and comes over to crush your face, then you can move up to purple diamond. But DON’T MOVE until AFTER he charges you.
Boss shifts. Healer runs in to melee.
Stay still until the bear comes to you and eats half your health. Just stay. Stay there. Please don’t move.
Pull. Shift into bear. Healer runs into melee immediately.
This went on 7 or 8 times until the shaman left and was replaced by another.
The tank is threatening to leave but is reluctant to do so after spending so much time in here and being so close to our valor points.
The druid is apologizing profusely.
The shaman and I are doing our best to dance around the druid, trying to make this work.
I’m about ready to suggest that the enhance shaman AND the warrior take the other spots in the rotation, if we could only find a way to keep the druid out of melee and getting silenced.
Then the stars aligned, with some fast footwork the shaman and I manage to pull off the positioning with no help from the druid running in circles.
Second form is eagle and the druid drops almost immediately.
Not really sure how, but we down him.
Valor is acquired.
The tank and I stay behind to offer a few more pointers about the instance and then we head our separate ways.
All of this proves that the hokey pokey really IS what it’s all about.
Or cows can’t dance.
On a slightly more serious and less long-winded note:
Why in the hell are ZA/ZG only available as heroics?
All other dungeons have a warm up version, even if it is 50+ levels below end game. You get the opportunity to go in, learn the layout, get an idea for the basics of the boss mechanics, learn where the patrols are, learn where line of sight will fuck your shit up, etc.
But for the two most difficult heroics we currently can enter, there is no learning mode.
And don’t try to say, “But it’s just like they were in the raid!”
The people that need the help in these instances weren’t around to experience them as a raid. I’m willing to bet new players aren’t even aware that these used to be raids eons ago.
Would it really have been too difficult for ZA/ZG to also have been released with normal modes?
I bet we would have far more success stories and fewer horror sagas about these runs.