Respect My Authority!

Hi, I’m an encounter mechanic.

I’m everything that happens in an encounter other than a boss smacking your tank in the face.

I’m what provides difference to encounters and hopefully makes them at least slightly more invigorating than stomping a training dummy in to the ground.

If I’m not there, people bitch that the encounters are boring.

If I’m too similar to a previously used mechanic, people complain that I’m not creative enough.

So in theory, everyone thinks I’m a great guy.

Why, then, does no one respect me once they’ve moved up a level or two?

I see these hot shots in their sparkly 390 ilevel purples come cruising through my raids, expecting to smack me in the face with their epeens and I’ll just fall over – well I got news for those punks.

You WILL learn to respect the mechanics or you WILL die.

It’s that simple.

Yeah, yeah, you might have enough health to survive a misstep here or there, but at what expense?

Why, the annoyance of your healer who was properly tucked away on the other side of the ice tomb when that frost bomb hit. Now they have to bring you back from the brink of death so they can listen to you continue to brag about how easy this place is now and how leet you are.

Try going back to Molten Core.

Sure, you can one-shot most anything in there. But try it with a group that doesn’t understand how a pack of core hound trash works. *snicker* Even if you manage to survive, it will have been a huge waste of time and energy. So much more effort than if people knew the mechanics – and followed them.

If you want to be on the floor, you’ve got to dance the dance. You do not get extra credit for marching to your own drummer. You signed up for the fight, now follow the rules of engagement.

There’s a DK that’s soloed just about everything in game. Know how he does it? He knows his class inside and out AND he understands every minute detail of how I work.

So the next time you bring a ragtag group of “raiders” in to my hallowed halls and expect to feed me your cock, I’m returning the dish with a heaping side order of shame and disgrace until you get your shit in order and pay me some respect.

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2 comments on “Respect My Authority!

  1. Leit says:

    My favourite is fall damage. Folks forget that it scales by level. I help guildies out by being the extra in a raid group so that they can solo old content for mog gear. It’s usually pretty easy to tell when they’ve hit Geddon, because they’ll pull him in the middle of the room and then die instantly a few seconds later.

    Also seen a 15-man lvl 80 raid wipe on those 3 bugs in AQ40. And been in another lvl 85 group that wiped to the arcane boss in the Eye because we were fighting her in the middle of the room. Can’t wait until Mists, when people forget you have to Slow Fall off the mines on Rag.

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