So sorry about the lack of posts. Lately I’ve had the choice to either play WoW or write about WoW… playing won out.
I’m having a blast on my little secret project DK, with most dungeon runs being civil and smooth.
Then I get this gem of a tank.
He’s not a bad player, per se. (And I say “he” as he was claiming to have an enormous and magnificent dick.)
OK, he was bad.
Level 79 and direct queued for Drak”tharon Keep. Apparently he had been in the instance before, but after the first boss was dead and was attempting to get the achievement for completing the dungeon before hitting level 80.
No big deal, normally it’s nice to have a tank that over levels and gears the instance.
We get to the first room with 4 mobs, the three hulking guys and the little caster. He pulls them and proceeds to stand in the void pizza, extra death topping. I pop blood and prevent further death.
The healer is falling over herself apologizing for the death. We tell her it’s not her fault.
Tank responds with:
There were several other odd phrasings through the run and what I believe was a snippet of Portuguese, so I’m willing to overlook the awkward grammar and assume he speaks multiple languages.
What I can’t overlook is that he was perfectly content to stand in the bad because it “dont damages a lot.”
I admit, I snarked off, “it looks like it does enough damage to kill you.”
The healer scrapes him off the floor and he IMMEDIATELY runs into the next room – the one with the multiple packs of abombs and all sorts of fun guys. Since he came up with about 30% health, he was almost instantly pasted.
Again, I pop blood out of self preservation, but it was too much, the whole room had joined in on our fun.
Convince him to pull just the first pack into the room with us, not burst in there guns, er sword and shield, blazing.
He still manages to die. Healer apologizes, we assure her it is not her fault.
Tank rambles something about damage to gear, yellow, but “not much damages.”
And then zones out, presumably to repair.
We wait. And wait. He starts babbling about his dinner plans and the music he’s listening to.
Boomkin says, “screw this,” goes bear and picks up the rest of the trash.
We wait. He’s still babbling about music.
Bearkin (see what I did there?) pulls the boss.
At some point in the fight, the tank zones back in, still yakking about music.
“Not to sound like a dick, but I don’t think anyone here cares about what you’re listening to.”
The whole run was like this, random tank deaths, emergency blood presence and bear forms, tank deciding to pull Dred before clearing raptors, then deciding to pull the remaining raptors while we’re up the stairs, commentary about his penis size…
Oh, and, “psps guys, I’m level 79, that’s higher than all you.”
We eventually crawled our way through the entire dungeon, whispering amongst ourselves about the tank’s outlandish behaviors. Ultimately, we decided we were staying just to see what insanity came next.
I mentioned that I had a blog and this was going on it.
So to Littleb., Ianmc., and Heaven., here it is and thanks for sticking through that run.