Surprise!

I’m not dead!

Not much going on around here so I’m not sure why it never seems like I have enough time to write… I keep getting these great ideas and sometimes I forget them and sometimes I toss them on Twitter and sometimes oh look a squirrel!

Speaking of squirrels, I have stumbled upon a secret monk ability.

I haven’t played much of a monk yet, but a quick perusal of their ability list shows items such as Tiger Palm and Flying Serpent Kick.

No where is there mention of this ultra-super-secret skill.

I have dubbed it Squirrel Stance.

We haven’t been raiding much, and I don’t really pay much attention to what other people are doing until it starts directly impacting me – like when I’m sharing Jasper Chains with someone.

Imagine two scenarios:

In the first, you are linked to a druid healer. You meet halfway and stand together at range, mindful of each other’s targets. When the cobalt mines hit your shared location, you both move (with no communication) to the same exact spot. It’s like both people thought about where the tank was going to be moving with the dogs, where to stand to minimize the impact of any additional cobalt mines that head your way, planning an escape route in case things get ugly. There is no movement unless needed. Life is calm.

In the second, you are linked to a monk healer. You run to where the oblivious monk is standing. The monk then proceeds to run AWAY FROM YOU and around in circles like a headless chicken. HE ENDS UP IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE – but not before you’ve both wasted 8-10 seconds on his Family Circus-esque goose chase. Cobalt mines are largely ignored until it’s too late, leaving the monk trapped and both of you out of range of your targets. Once free, it is the cue to resume frantic running around, directly in the path of the tank, resulting in the tank being blasted with cobalt mines. You frequently end up on the opposite side of the target from the rest of the raid, putting you squarely out of range of heals and being ignored by the monk healer as his responsibility is the off tank, not the poor sap chained to him that he’s drug out of range. You aren’t able to hold still long enough to Evocate or cast anything other than instants. You count the seconds until your shields come off CD. You contemplate using Ice Block to murder your own raid member.

As I noted the first time we took on MSV, there is something squirrelly about monks on that fight. I thought it was a DPS-boost, but now I think it’s an all-around performance-enhancing ability. Maybe the higher my blood pressure goes the lower their FPS?

There are nights I really wish I could polymorph my own faction. During a raid. It would have been much easier to stay close to a cute little bumbling sheep than a cracked-out monk in Squirrel Stance.